Britney’s Need for Rehab: A Clinical Inquiry

We all know Britney needs to go to rehab, but what for? She does seem to have the crazy (like a dog, you can almost see the rabid in her eyes) but for what, exactly, is Britney seeking treatment? The pop star’s thing for coke is reportedly the least well-kept secret in Hollywood, and we’ve all seen evidence of her boozing ways splashed across the pages of US Weekly, but we don’t know this new sheared, G.I. Brit so well, we’re not sure what’s happening in her head, or going up her nose. How can we assume she’s not addicted to pornography, or body mutilation, or the internet? Does she have postpartum depression, as genius View cohost (and licensed practitioner of awesome) Rosie O’Donnell surmises?

It’s clear that Britney’s problems are deeper than some post-adolescent crush on happy pills; what do you think Britney’s writing down in the “Seeking Treatment For …” column on her Promises Malibu intake papers?

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